Name: Revlon Moon Drops Lipsticks in Orange Flip and Persian Melon

Date of Purchase: April 2011

Grade: B-

Notes: I’m painstakingly, ploddingly moving my Tumblr posts onto Blogger, which means that several of these posts will feature my old hair (which got pixied on January 30) and less-than-ideal lighting. Not that a month of beauty blogging has introduced me to ideal lighting or given me a proper camera, but let’s just pretend my learning curve was very steep indeed.

Moon Drops is Revlon’s “classic” line of lipsticks—Orange Flip dates from the 1950s and Persian Melon from the early ’60s. Moon Drops lipsticks are housed in green tubes instead of Revlon’s usual black:

Every online reviewer of Moon Drops mentions their overpowering powdery scent. I have a fondness for the scent, since I remember my grandmother buying me the clear stick gloss from the Moon Drops line when I was about 12, and there’s something magical about being transported back to my preteen days without having to relive the misery and awkwardness. But, fair warning, these lipsticks will make you smell like an old lady, and you can even taste the scent while you’re wearing them.

I first started paying attention to makeup trends in 2011, the year of coral everything. I was entranced by the neon orange lips I saw all over the internet, so I headed to CVS, enabler of so many of my ill-advised makeup experiments. In addition to Orange Flip, I bought Persian Melon and the bizarrely named Blasé Apricot, a neon coral that I had to throw away last summer when it started smelling even more putrid than usual. Blasé Apricot turned out to be my favorite of the three; I remember wearing it constantly in the summer of 2011 while living on campus, taking a French reading course, and drinking countless coconut-red-bean tapioca teas in the library. I wore Orange Flip several times before reaching the conclusion that orange was Not My Color. As for Persian Melon, I’ve never worn it out of the house. Not once. I’ve just taken it with me wherever I’ve moved, hoping against hope that we might eventually click. I don’t think it’s going to happen.

Arm swatches! Orange Flip is a reddish orange, and Persian Melon is a hot pink:

Persian Melon looks more cool than warm in this photo, but watch what happens when I sandwich it between two cool-toned pinks, MAC Candy Yum-Yum (left) and MAC Pink Nouveau (right):

Now it looks positively coral! By the way, I spent far too much time waiting for the goosebumps on my arm to subside before I gave up and took the second photo. It’s so cold in my apartment, guys.

Persian Melon:

It turns out I don’t hate this color! It’s very early-’60s Hollywood (I say, as if I was there). Sorry I’m not sorry that I’m not wearing real clothes or any other makeup; it’s Sunday morning and I’m about to eat carrot-cake pancakes and finish my first dissertation chapter. Check out my awesome scarf collection in the background.

Orange Flip:

Formula-wise, they both leave something to be desired. They pull a bit on the lips during application and feel heavy and waxy, and they’re also somewhat drying unless I apply lip balm first. To be fair, the fact that they’re nearly three years old might have something to do with this. But honestly, I’m not sure why I still have these lipsticks. Persian Melon doesn’t look bad on me, but it’s warmer and softer than I like my hot pinks to be; Orange Flip is a beautiful color, but I’m picky about the formulas of red and orange lipsticks. They have to be either matte or very glossy. No in-betweens, no shiny satins. And the scent—it’s fine if I’m just sniffing the lipsticks and thinking about being 12, but wearing them is another story.

Seriously, why do I still have these? It’s like I’m clinging to a significant other I can’t stand because I’m afraid of being alone. BUT I WON’T BE ALONE. I have like 50 other lipsticks. What is my problem?